The Australian government’s recent campaign Consent Can’t Wait challenges us all to enhance our understanding of consent. It asks a series of questions for instance this issue is more complex than simplistic “no means no” messaging.
The campaign invites viewers to think about the nuances of consent, so we will raise these necessary issues with children and young people in our lives.
But what’s age to begin talking about consent? How do parents tackle such conversations when this information probably wasn’t readily discussed in our own upbringing?
How it starts – early childhood (0–5 years)
Small on-going conversations about consent that start early are best. At this age, children have gotten aware of their bodies, and that is a terrific time to begin basic conversations around consent, body safety and bounds.
If you’re tickling or rough-housing together with your child and so they ask you to stop, respect this. Similarly, you would like your child to learn that they need to take heed to and respect the sentiments of others.
Jan Kopriva/Unsplash
We also needs to not force a toddler to present a hug or a kiss to a member of the family in the event that they don’t feel comfortable. Teaching them to be polite and respectful without having to cross their very own personal boundaries is vital.
Bath time may also be a terrific setting to debate how children’s bodies are their very own and the fundamentals of boundaries and privacy.
Childhood and first school (6–11 years)
As children enter school, their social networks begin to expand and the potential for conflict is inevitable. As parents, we might help them to navigate this time and unpack more developed ideas around consent.
The focus at this stage must be to make sure young people have the essential skills to form healthy friendships and to interact respectfully with others. You might also want your child to recognise the diversity and difference that exists in our society.
It’s necessary your child starts to find out about verbal and non-verbal communication. Body language can provide great insight into how one other person is perhaps feeling, and youngsters can learn easy methods to tune in and respect others as much as possible.
Eye for Ebony/Unsplash
As your child starts to form a stronger personal identityhelp them discover and maintain their very own personal boundaries. Demonstrating easy methods to respond if someone is behaving or touching them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable helps develop skills to communicate boundaries.
Finally, do not forget that young people begin to attach in online spaces too. Encourage your child to think critically about what they see online and who they confer with. Teaching children to engage respectively can assist with consensual experiences online too.
Adolescence and secondary school (12–18 years)
As we transition through the adolescent years, those foundations skills that first applied to relationships with family and friends, extend to romantic relationshipswhere consent is significant for respectful, protected and healthy experiences.
If they haven’t already grasped the notion, it’s necessary for adolescents to grasp that consent might be withdrawn. People have the precise to change their mind at any timeeven when it is perhaps an activity they’d previously agreed to.
Tim Mossholder/Unsplash
Navigating sexual consent might be more complex than searching for and giving permission. Consent have to be voluntary and freely given, without coercion or pressure. Just because we’re in a romantic relationship with someone, this doesn’t mean we must be expected to interact particularly behaviours in the event that they cross our boundaries.
Adolescents also need to grasp that rejection is inevitable. Sometimes people won’t wish to go on a date with us, to present us a kiss, or to interact in a specific sexual act and that’s OK. Encourage young people to not take rejection personallyrespect the needs and bounds of others, and be vigilant to verbal and non-verbal cues.
Adolescents will even start to speak repeatedly with peers online and should engage in sexting: sending intimate images to at least one one other. Teach them to precise and practise consent to be protected online and be mutually respectful of one another.
Being accessible and inclusive
Consent might be complex, particularly for minority populations.
Yarning Quiet Ways is a resource designed for First Nations families.
The Sexuality Education Counselling and Consultancy Agency (SECCA) offers resources suitable for helping to navigate discussions with individuals with disability or individuals who require resources written in easy English.
The Rainbow Project has resources about consent for LGBTQI+ people.
Final suggestions for families
Start the conversations early specializing in basic ethics, rights and bodily autonomy. Consent conversations can construct in an age-appropriate way and extend to discussions about sexual relationships as children age.
While discussions must be age-appropriate where possible, it could be relevant to introduce certain topics earlier if need be too.
Communication about consent is best when it’s direct, free from judgement and maintains an open-dialogue. These discussions might feel awkward or uncomfortable but they’re necessary. Homes are critical places for these discussions and it will be significant that your child sees you as an approachable and askable parent.
Education around consent won’t stop sexual violence on it’s own, so it’s necessary to have these discussions alongside other areas of importance.
Discussions around difficult gender stereotypes, modelling respect and easy methods to intervene, the importance of empathyin addition to online safety similar to sexting and pornography can assist.
