Sexual consent has been a significant focus in Australia for the past few years.
In early 2022 the federal government mandated consent education in schools. This includes details about what consent is, and tips on how to ensure consensual relationships.
Across Australia, 4 states (Victoria, New South Wales, Queensland and Tasmania) and the Australian Capital Territory have now passed affirmative consent laws. While the precise wording of the laws differs between jurisdictions, affirmative consent might be defined as the necessity for “each individual person participating in a sexual act to take steps to say or do something to examine that the opposite person(s) involved are consenting to a sexual intercourse”.
There have also been vital campaigns, equivalent to the Make No Doubt campaign in NSW, to teach about protected, pleasurable and consensual sex.
One challenge with sexual consent education is determining the way it translates to real-life situations. As a part of broader research looking for to reply this query, we wanted to know how young heterosexual men and ladies understand and practice consent.
Our latest study found that while participants mostly understood the concept of affirmative consent, they didn’t at all times put it into practice in the warmth of the moment.
Read more:
Most states now have affirmative sexual consent laws, but not enough people know what they mean
Understanding sexual consent
Our research included a mixed group of 44 men and ladies aged 18 to 35, who were in relationships, dating or single. We spoke to them in focus groups and presented quite a lot of heterosexual sexual consent vignettes (scenarios) to debate.
We wanted to know how participants thought the characters should handle these situations, and the way they’d take care of these scenarios themselves. Scenarios were designed to be somewhat ambiguous, with no clear right answer.
An example of a vignette we used was Julia and Mark. They meet for drinks on their first date, and the chemistry is robust. They find yourself at Julia’s place, where she tells him she desires to take things slow and won’t be having sex that night. They start making out, and each begin to shed layers of clothing. Mark hesitates, unsure whether to proceed, and Julia is uncertain tips on how to signal her interest in other sorts of intimacy after setting a boundary.
Anastasia Shuraeva/Pexels
Alongside the vignettes, we asked participants to share their understandings of consent, and their reflections on gender expectations around dating and sex, amongst other issues.
Participants demonstrated a transparent understanding of consent practices in step with the affirmative consent framework. This included understanding that consent was the responsibility of all parties involved. Danny, a 23-year-old man, said:
It’s like equal responsibility in my eyes.
Participants also noted that simple, open communication alongside consistent verbal check-ins was vital. As Abigail, a 26-year-old woman, said:
Both parties have to be actively engaging and checking boundaries as you go.
In theory versus reality
Despite appearing to know the principles of affirmative consent, participants reacted in a different way when presented with various scenarios. Instead of noting equal responsibility, most participants believed men within the scenarios were chargeable for getting consent, and ladies providing it.
In discussing the scenarios participants highlighted the necessity to avoid assumptions and to encourage open communication. But this attitude shifted when discussing personal experiences and sexual consent. Here, participants expected partners to know typical boundaries during sexual encounters, suggesting a shared sense of what’s “normal”.
In fact, participants felt following good sexual communication practices could dampen the enjoyment of sexual encounters. Some admitted that although they knew the perfect approach, they didn’t at all times keep on with it. As Alice, a 25-year-old woman, said:
Everything’s going well and we’re hitting it off, after which it moves into the bedroom and things just appear to flow, and I feel comfortable not having to necessarily overtly have that conversation then and there.
Lenore, a 28-year-old woman, said:
Sometimes, like, a conversation can almost kill the vibe, like if that moment is […] really hot and passionate and also you’re giving all of them the signals they usually’re supplying you with all of the signals, after which he was like, ‘So I would like to only check in with you for a second’, I can be like, ‘Dude, come on, like, let’s just do the thing.’
Jeremy, a 34-year-old man, said:
I’ve usually asked someone are they having a great time, you understand, ‘is that this okay’, ‘is that this okay’, and be told, ‘No, you’ve ruined the moment’, which I discovered quite perplexing as someone who believes strongly in ensuring there’s at all times consent.
Mayur Gala/Unsplash
Participants also indicated affirmative consent was more vital in some sexual situations over others. In discussing one among the vignettes, Lenore said:
It would really depend upon what he [scenario character] tried, to be honest, like if he’s flipped me around and chucked me right into a latest position, like, yeah, go for it. If he’s slapped me across the face in the midst of sex without clearing that first, no. It would completely depend upon what it was and the best way that he goes about doing it.
Implications
Our study is comparatively small and can’t be generalised to the broader Australian population. We also focused only on consent in heterosexual relationships.
Nonetheless, our research provides some insight into how young men and ladies could also be navigating consent during sex. The results don’t imply education on sexual consent is ineffective. Rather, they highlight a big gap between knowing and applying that knowledge.
Our findings also point to a broader and more complex issue: the necessity for a whole-of-society approach to rethink sexual communication and consent. One in five women have experienced sexual violence, suggesting deeper problems of masculine entitlement and societal attitudes toward women. Focusing on consent between sexual partners is a technique of shifting attitudes.
Read more:
How to get consent for sex (and no, it doesn’t need to spoil the mood)
Sexual encounters often involve intricate layers of emotion and experience, influenced by culture, religion, and other aspects, with elements like shame, pleasure, joy, uncertainty, fear and anxiety.
Understanding the complex variables that inform decision-making in these contexts is crucial for creating educational resources that help people navigate sexual consent in several situations.
