Upending Masculine Identities: Why Boys and Men Don’t Disclose Sexual Trauma

In Australia, it’s estimated almost one in five boys (18.8%) experience child sexual abuse. And at least one in 16 men (6.1%) experience sexual violence after age 15. However, many boys and men don’t tell others about these experiences. Studies show men are less likely to disclose sexual abuse and assaults than women. It takes boys and men longer to first disclose sexual abuse or assaults. On average, men wait 21 years before telling anyone about being abused.

This is a problem because talking to others is often an important part of understanding and recovering from these traumatic experiences. When boys and men don’t discuss these experiences, it risks their mental health problems and isolation becoming worse, and they don’t get the support they need.

Upending Masculine Identities

We found across countries and cultures, boys’ and men’s sexual trauma affected their masculine identities. This included feeling as though they are not “real men”, or that they’re weak for having been targeted and assaulted.

Stigma if They Do Tell

In many cases, boys and men who tried to tell others about their sexual trauma were met with stigmatising and unhelpful responses. Some were blamed, told they were making it up, or even mocked.

Understanding Why Men Don’t Talk

Many of these barriers to disclosure are linked to harmful myths about sexual abuse and assaults among boys and men. These include mistaken beliefs that men are not abused or assaulted, and that only gay men are abused or assaulted.

What Can We Do Better?

We know having experienced sexual trauma is closely linked to significant mental health problems in boys and men. These include substance abuse and addiction, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and even suicide. Receiving unsupportive and stigmatising responses when they try to seek help only makes these issues worse and adds to cycles of silence and shame.

Conclusion

We must break down barriers that stop boys and men disclosing these traumatic experiences. Doing so could save lives. Helping boys and men disclose sexual trauma isn’t just about encouraging them to come forward. We need to make sure other people are prepared to respond safely when they choose to speak up.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Why don’t boys and men disclose their experiences of sexual trauma?

A: Boys and men often feel ashamed, guilty, and worried about being judged, labelled, or perceived as weak or vulnerable. They may also fear being seen as gay or have their masculinity questioned.

Q: What can we do to help boys and men disclose their experiences?

A: We can start by listening without judgment, providing safe spaces to talk, and challenging harmful myths and stereotypes. We can also support services and initiatives that cater specifically to the needs of boys and men who have experienced sexual trauma.

Q: What are some ways to raise awareness about sexual abuse and assault among boys and men?

A: We can use public health campaigns, social media, and community events to bring attention to this issue. We can also use popular culture, such as television shows and movies, to depict the experiences of boys and men who have been sexually abused or assaulted.

Q: How can we ensure that boys and men have access to support services and resources?

A: We can increase funding for services that cater to the specific needs of boys and men, such as the Survivors & Mates Support Network. We can also provide training for healthcare professionals, teachers, and other service providers to better support boys and men who have experienced sexual trauma.

The National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line – 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault.