About two years after my diagnosis, I used to be forged in my dream role of Jackie, a bisexual bodybuilder on this darkly romantic psychological thriller directed by Rose Glass. It was purported to be my first day of shooting, they usually’d sent me home because I tested positive for COVID. It turned out to be a false positive, but I used to be already feeling like I ruined the film when my GI doctor called and said I needed surgery immediately. I at all times get a full medical exam before I start filming, including a physical, blood work, and scans—and my scan revealed some serious issues.
Even though I felt fantastic, the imaging showed five centimeters value of scar tissue in my small intestine, which was putting me at major risk for an obstructed bowel. Scar tissue forms adhesions, which may cause your intestines to turn into twisted and blocked, almost like a garden hose with a kink.
My doctor was shocked that I wasn’t in severe pain. I used to be freaking out, considering there was no way I could have surgery and still play Jackie. Then I met with a surgeon who said I could wait until filming was complete to have the surgery, so long as I wasn’t in pain.
After we wrapped up filming, I needed to reshoot , and as soon as that was done I underwent an ileocecal resection, which is after they surgically remove a part of your small bowel. I had it done laparoscopically, which is lots less invasive than the choice, more traditional method, however the recovery wasn’t easy. Everything I read online said it could take several weeks, but it surely took me about six months for me to get back to normal. Even now, over a yr later, I’m still rebuilding my core strength.
Overall, though, I feel so grateful that the surgery went well, my Crohn’s is under control, and that I get to live this life. I actually don’t consider myself an authority on living with an autoimmune condition, but these are a number of the strategies which have helped me manage the physical demands of long days of filming, weight lifting, and doing martial arts.
Working on meant a lot way more to me than simply a likelihood to play a starring role on the massive screen. It’s my hope that folks within the queer community will watch this movie and see reflections of themselves and their experiences. While the drama centers around Jackie’s romance with Kristin Stewart’s Lou, the movie is about so way more than their sexuality. And I believe it’s so essential for people to see queer characters with these wealthy, complex interior lives doing greater than just being gay on screen.
I also desired to be visible as an actor taking over a really physical role while successfully managing Crohn’s. My character, Jackie, is training for a bodybuilding competition, so along with filming gym scenes and a few pretty intense motion scenes, I needed to work out for multiple hours every night once I got home.
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