The holiday season is supposed to be crammed with joy, connection and celebration of rituals. Many people, nonetheless, are starkly reminded of their grief this time of yr and of whom – or what – they’ve lost.
The added stress of the vacation season doesn’t help. Studies show that the vacations negatively affect many individuals’s mental health.
While COVID-19-related stressors could have lessened, the grief from change and loss that so many endured throughout the pandemic persists. This could cause difficult emotions to resurface once they are least expected.
I’m a licensed therapist and trauma-sensitive yoga instructor. For the last 12 years, I’ve helped clients and families manage grief, depression, anxiety and sophisticated trauma. This includes many health care employees and first responders who’ve recounted infinite stories to me about how the pandemic increased burnout and affected their mental health and quality of life.
I developed a web-based program that research shows has improved their well-being. And I’ve observed firsthand how much grief and sadness can intensify throughout the holidays.
Post-pandemic holidays and prolonged grief
During the pandemic, family dynamics, close relationships and social connections were strained, mental health problems increased or worsenedand most of the people’s holiday traditions and routines were upended.
Those who lost a loved one throughout the pandemic may not have been in a position to practice rituals similar to holding a memorial service, further delaying the grieving process. As a result, holiday traditions may feel more painful now for some. Time off from school or work can even trigger more intense feelings of grief and contribute to feelings of loneliness, isolation or depression.
Sometimes feelings of grief are so persistent and severe that they interfere with each day life. For the past several many years, researchers and clinicians have been grappling with clearly define and treat complicated grief that doesn’t abate over time.
In March 2022, a brand new entry to explain complicated grief was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disordersor DSM, which classifies a spectrum of mental health disorders and problems to higher understand people’s symptoms and experiences with the intention to treat them.
This newly defined condition known as prolonged grief disorder. About 10% of bereaved adults are in dangerand people rates appear to have increased within the aftermath of the pandemic.
People with prolonged grief disorder experience intense emotions, eager for the deceased, or troublesome preoccupation with memories of their loved one. Some also find it difficult to reengage socially and should feel emotionally numb. They commonly avoid reminders of their loved one and should experience a lack of identity and feel bleak about their future. These symptoms persist nearly each day for at the least a month. Prolonged grief disorder may be diagnosed at the least one yr after a major loss for adults and at the least six months after a loss for kids.
I’m no stranger to complicated grief: A detailed friend of mine died by suicide after I was in college, and I used to be certainly one of the last people he spoke to before he ended his life. This upended my sense of predictability and control in my life and left me untangling the many existential themes that suicide loss survivors often face.
How grieving alters brain chemistry
Research suggests that grief not only has negative consequences for an individual’s physical healthbut for brain chemistry too.
The feeling of grief and intense craving may disrupt the neural reward systems within the brain. When bereaved individuals seek connection to their lost loved one, they’re craving the chemical reward they felt before their loss once they connected with that person. These reward-seeking behaviors are inclined to operate on a feedback loop, functioning just like substance addictionand could possibly be why some people get stuck within the despair of their grief.
One study showed an increased activation of the amygdala when showing death-related images to people who find themselves coping with complicated grief, in comparison with adults who will not be grieving a loss. The amygdalawhich initiates our fight or flight response for survival, can also be related to managing distress when separated from a loved one. These changes within the brain might explain the good impact prolonged grief has on someone’s life and their ability to operate.
Recognizing prolonged grief disorder
Experts have developed scales to assist measure symptoms of prolonged grief disorder. If you discover with a few of these signs for at the least one yr, it might be time to succeed in out to a mental health skilled.
Grief shouldn’t be linear and doesn’t follow a timeline. It is a dynamic, evolving process that’s different for everybody. There isn’t any unsuitable option to grieve, so be compassionate to yourself and don’t make judgments on what it’s best to or shouldn’t be doing.
Increasing your social supports and fascinating in meaningful activities are necessary first steps. It is critical to deal with any preexisting or co-occurring mental health concerns similar to anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress.
It may be easy to confuse grief with depression, as some symptoms do overlap, but there are critical differences.
If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression for longer than a number of weeks and it’s affecting your on a regular basis life, work and relationships, it might be time to speak along with your primary care doctor or therapist.
A sixth stage of grief
I actually have found that naming the stage of grief that somebody is experiencing helps diminish the ability it might need over them, allowing them to mourn their loss.
For many years, most clinicians and researchers have recognized five stages of grief: denial/shock, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance.
But “accepting” your grief doesn’t sit well for a lot of. That is why a sixth stage of grief, called “finding meaning,” adds one other perspective. Honoring a loss by reflecting on its meaning and the burden of its impact will help people discover ways to maneuver forward. Recognizing how one’s life and identity are different while making space on your grief throughout the holidays is perhaps one option to soften the despair.
When my friend died by suicide, I discovered a deeper appreciation for what he brought into my life, absorbing the moments he would have enjoyed, in honor of him. After a few years, I used to be in a position to find meaning by spreading mental health awareness. I spoke as an authority presenter for suicide prevention organizationswrote about suicide loss and have become certified to show my local people reply to someone experiencing signs of mental health distress or crisis through Mental Health First Aid courses. Finding meaning is different for everybody, though.
Sometimes, adding a routine or holiday tradition can ease the pain and permit a new edition of life, while still remembering your beloved. Take out that old recipe or visit your favorite restaurant you enjoyed together. You can decide to stay open to what life has to supply, while grieving and honoring your loss. This may offer latest intending to what – and who – is around you.